Shattered Soul by Jennifer Snyder

Author:Jennifer Snyder [Snyder, Jennifer]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: heart break, Contemporary, drug usage, teen love
Publisher: Jennifer Snyder
Published: 2012-08-15T19:29:40+00:00

Chapter Ten

We drove to the bridge wrapped in thick silence, only breaking it when Ali needed directions. My mind reeled while I sat in the passenger seat, bouncing from one thought to another as my mother’s words echoed through my head. Somewhere along the drive, those words mixed with images of Calvin and the others snorting lines, Jade’s dirty dancing, and Calvin’s fists flying at my face repeatedly.

My life was so screwed up and there was no way to fix it. If I had the guts to kill myself, I would have done it a long time ago.

I patted my front pocket, searching for the rounded shape of my bowl and the squish of the bag I’d shoved in there. This was how I dealt with my life. Every time I snorted a line, popped a pill, or smoked a bowl I was dealing with it, coping with it the only way I knew how.

I glanced at Ali, chewing on her bottom lip as she drove and thought of all the reasons I had for not wanting her to meet my family. That’s when I realized, the only real reason I kept her from meeting them was because I didn’t want her to see how screwed up they were and have it reflect on me in her eyes. I was ashamed of them, of my life, and if I were to be completely honest, ashamed of myself.

I was no good, especially not for Ali.

“All right, I can’t take the silence anymore. Spill. What’s wrong? Did your mom say something to you?” Ali asked as soon as we pulled into the empty parking lot and parked. She stared at me with those clear blue eyes of hers, studying me intently.

“No, nothing. You ready?” I asked, remaining tight lipped as I opened the door and stepped out. There was no way I was going to tell her anything my mom had said.

I waited until I heard her door open and close before I started towards the concrete steps. I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and lit one. Ali walked beside me, matching my stride perfectly, while nervously chewing her bottom lip and chipping away the remnants of her pink nail polish.

We were almost to the bridge when Ali stepped in front of me, placing her hand firmly below my rib cage in a motion to stop me in my tracks. It did. My breath hissed out of me and I winced in pain.

“What? What’s wrong?” she demanded, her eyes growing wide.

My hand flung to my bruised rib, as though me touching it would make it feel any better. “Hurt, that’s all,” I insisted, taking in a deep breath. I straightened myself up as best I could, took a sharp drag off my cigarette, and stalked past her.

She hurried to step in front of me again, her eyebrows drawn together in concern.

“What hurt?” Before I could stop her, she’d lifted my shirt to see for herself. “Oh my God! Seth, what happened?”

I tugged myself free from her grasp and walked the few remaining feet to the bridge.

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